Building People Before Pyramids

This article is a little more personal than usual because it’s about my very own daughter, Cheyenne. Chey is a 10 year old cheerleader on a Youth Level 2 team at her gym. She also cheered on a Special Needs team last season. She attends equestrian therapy weekly for some of her disabilities and something that happened today really touched my heart. While the first part of this story may not be directly cheer related, it can be applied to the sport in every aspect.
I've never witnessed Chey being self-critical after an equestrian therapy session until last week. She wasn't her chipper self when we walked to the car after riding Phoenix. As I always do, once we were buckled up, I asked her about her ride.
Me: “What was your favorite thing that you did today?”
Chey: *shrugs* ”I don't know.”
Me: “What's wrong?”
Chey: “I couldn't do the sliding stop with Phoenix and really I couldn't get him to do anything I was supposed to do.”
This session, which started a few weeks ago, the kids are learning a new skill; western reining. Miss Sarah sent home handouts last week with some tips and information.
Chey quickly buried her nose in the handouts and asked me to be quiet so she could read. I did as she asked. When we got home, the silence continued as she shut herself in her room and spent hours upon hours researching western reining. That is my child; always self-driven and determined.
Today when we arrived at equestrian therapy, she discovered she would be riding a different horse today. She was place with a young horse that is newer to the program named Peep. Peep is very nervous, skittish and highly sensitive to touch, nudges, shifting of body weight, etc. I wasn't too comfortable with Chey riding Peep, as I've seen him 'in action' with other riders. I knew her confidence had already taken a deep hit last week and I dreaded this week being even worse. Besides that, I was scared to death she would fall off or get hurt with his skittish ways. (All of the horses are safe at equestrian therapy, but I’m a very nervous mom at times.) I kept my thoughts to myself and took my place in the parents area as Chey got her helmet adjusted. The worst possible thoughts of everything that could go wrong flooded my mind as I shifted uneasily on the hard steel bleachers.
Throughout the session Chey struggled to control Peep, as I predicted would happen. She couldn't get him to follow the exercises they were given. He wouldn't do the abrupt stop, he ran too fast at times and seemed oblivious to the path she was supposed to follow. My heart sank as the session ended and I dreaded the ride home knowing that Chey would feel so disappointed in herself two weeks in a row.
As Chey waited for assistance with dismounting, I went out to another area of the barn and petted a couple of the other horses- Tracy and Lisa. They had been quite noisy in their stalls throughout the class, so I figured they could use some loving.
Chey walked up behind me and said she was ready to go and wanted to make sure I had the paperwork for the summer competition. I showed her I did. What happened next surprised me.
Chey: “Make sure you put down Peep as my horse for the competition.”
Me: “Are you sure? Do you really think that is a good idea? Wouldn't you be more comfortable riding Phoenix or Scotty?”
Chey: “No Mom!! I want Peep.”
Me: “But why? You struggled so much with him today.”
Chey: “Mom, you need to understand. No one else is going to choose Peep because he is new and doesn't know what he is doing. He gave me a chance today and I'm giving him a chance for the show. I don't care if I place dead last in the show. It's not about that. This is about giving everyone a chance, and that means Peep. I want to ride Peep for the show, please put him down as my horse. Everyone deserves a chance in life Mom.”
I swallowed hard and took a deep breath to keep from crying. I was so touched by what she said.
Me: “Chey if you want to ride Peep then you will ride Peep. I will put him down on your form and give it to Miss Sarah ok?”
Chey: “Thanks Mom.”
All the way home it was silent, but not because Chey was upset. I had to clench my jaw together, blink like crazy, and focus on the road to prevent the tears from falling. My daughter has the most beautiful heart and soul. I love her so much and I learn from her every day.
This experience reminded me of a cheer competition last winter, the COA Wright State Cup. I was sitting up in the stands, video camera poised and ready to go when the announcement for the Spirit Force Superstars Special Needs team was called. I saw the team take the floor and noticed immediately that Cheyenne was not there. I started to fidget a bit hoping nothing had happened in warm-ups. Then at 24 seconds in (video linked below) she appeared from the side wing and was waving her arms and talking. What I didn’t know was another little girl, Aubrey, was nervous and crying. Chey told Aubrey that she wasn’t going out without her and kept encouraging her. One of the coaches noticed and ran up to help and then a second coach as well. Chey still refused to take the floor until Aubrey did. She said that she could never leave one of her teammates behind.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7tGZTO-27w

We get so excited about our children getting their handspring, their tuck, a full and many other cheer skills. However, it is important to realize that so many skills our children learn in the gym cannot be measured by a level. These skills I’m referring to are character building skills and they are important ones. Our athlete’s take these skills with them on and off the mat, in the gym and outside the gym into the world. One of my favorite cheer related quotes is by Kristen Rosario from Top Gun All-Stars, “In the end, we’re trying to raise good people. I tell my athlete’s that when they step out of the cheer world into the real world, nobody’s going to care that they can do a double full or that they went to Worlds. All the lessons they’ve learned along the way about teamwork and accomplishing goals are what’s going to help them with everything in life.”  
If you take anything from this story at all, I ask that if you see someone struggling or falling behind because they can't do something yet- reach out and help them. Give them a chance, because in the words of Cheyenne “Everyone deserves a chance, and we never leave a teammate behind.”